Comfortability

Most people have a personal bubble- an amount of space around them that they would like other people to stay the hell out of. I believe the amount of space varies from person to person, culture to culture. Was it Americans I heard have really small personal bubbles? Or were they big bubbles?

Dang, I can’t remember.

Anyway, my own personal bubble is huge. Basically, I would like for people to remain about five feet away from me at all times, or I start to feel crowded and overwhelmed and extremely uncomfortable. You know those people who like to stand almost toe to toe with you while they talk directly into your face?

I hate those people.

Back off!

In large crowds, I steer clear of the thickest piles of humans and if I have to actually try to walk through them, I tend to hold my breath and give myself a pep-talk.

I kind of wonder if I just hate people, period.

But then, it’s not ALL people that bother me when they’re close by. In fact, calm people, and people who don’t yell or touch or steal my breathing air almost right out of my nose don’t bother me. They can be ohh, two feet away.

High-energy people, however…

Ugh.

Crazy people. People who get loud. People who wave their hands a lot. People who just never hold still. I can’t handle them up close. It’s hard enough to deal with them in the same room, let alone all up in my business. They’re exhausting, and irritating. Or, even if they’re not irritating, I feel irritable towards them just for existing in all their overflowing energy-ness…

Yeah, spell-check doesn’t like that word, hyphenated or no.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure this is why I choose the doctors I do, and what makes me like/dislike hair stylists or cashiers or waitresses or anyone else who has reason to be within my five-foot radius of stay-the-hell-away-from-me.

Actually, come to think of it, this is all why I don’t like Princess Zelda, Psycho Kitten.

Too. Much. Energy.

What am I saying? I get freaked out by my own husband being too energetic or just plain crazy anywhere near me. What would be so wrong with just chilling the eff out?!

Right, so, that’s about the extent of my brain’s ability to function for now. I’m sure it was riveting.

Oh, and hey! Happy New Year!

Post-Christmas Weird Mood

Any time large numbers of people get together for any length of time, it’s a recipe for trouble. Maybe only a small amount of trouble, or maybe a huge amount, but trouble nonetheless. Someone, somewhere, is bound to get annoyed at something somebody says/does, and then all hell is going to break loose (on a large or small scale (although if it’s only on a small scale, is “all hell” really “breaking loose”?)).

This didn’t happen at my house over Christmas.

This didn’t happen anywhere near me over Christmas.

What did happen was that my mother-in-law was here for a week, staying with myself, Clint, and E. There was one night that was fraught with tension, and being the way I am, I was forced- FORCED!- to attempt to dispel that tension and make everything all sunshine and rainbows again.

And so my solution was going to be to “Buddy-the-Elf-it” and leap from the ottoman into the top of our 7 1/2 foot Christmas tree.

I didn’t.

In my defense, the reason I didn’t (mainly) was because of logistics; I’m very nearly eight months pregnant, and the amount of…um, you know…the invisible energy force that they teach you about in high school science (or maybe middle school, I don’t know, after 6th grade my brain signed out of all academics) that makes objects (or really pregnant, 5’9″ tall women) fly through the air and actually reach their destination…

I’m not sure where I was going with that. Either way, I thought better of my plan, and didn’t even get very many laughs for my empty threat.

Inertia!

…I think.

Moving right along…

After Christmas dinner with my husband’s mom’s side of the family, Scrabble was brought out. Four of us sat down to play, and I’d just like to state here that I am APPALLED at the actual rules of this game.

I thought I knew how to play; everyone draws their seven letters, someone plays first and so on and so forth, everyone maintains seven letters until there aren’t enough left in the bag, people score points from their words, someone wins. The End.

Oh, no.

Am I the only Scrabble-lover on the planet that didn’t know about the sneaky, horrible little rule that gives the points off of everyone’s remaining letters to the first person to use all of their letters?

Not only that, but those same points on the remaining letters are subtracted from your score! Well, whoever the letter(s) belong to, anyway. They lose those points while those same points are just given away.

If not for this rule (or, to place blame where it’s due, if not for my husband actually bothering to read the rules as we played), I would have won by at least ten points.

Stupid letter Q.

Now that Christmas is over and I’ve removed the giant tree from my living room, and since New Year’s is very nearly my least favorite holiday, all I really have to look forward to in the coming weeks is another doctor’s appointment where all they do is listen to the baby’s heart beat and ask how I’m feeling.

Oh, and jury duty.

Do you know, I have never before been slapped with jury duty. It seems like my husband gets it all the time, and that’s fine with me, because all he has to do is take off a little time from work. Not me. I don’t get off that easy. I have to make an extraneous trip into town, after finding a babysitter. Unfortunately, everyone nearby whom I would trust to watch my child will be all…busy.

Work, or some such ridiculous thing.

On the bright side, maybe when I call the night before to see if I still have to go, I’ll be told no.

And if I DO have to go, still looking on the bright side, maybe they won’t want a hugely pregnant, cranky, and totally biased woman with family in law enforcement on their jury.

Ha!

I think the cold, snowy weather is giving me a bad attitude today. I’m gonna go get that under control.

 

WHAM! Out of Nowhere!

I hate…HATE…when people from my past pop up out of the blue and start yelling at me, especially when I have no idea why.

I logged on to facebook earlier, and saw that I had a new message. I clicked on it, thinking it was probably my sister, but it wasn’t. It turned out to be someone I was friends with a few years back, someone who I ended up NOT being friends with thanks to a ton of drama that I won’t bore you with.

He informed me that I needed to stop telling his wife things she didn’t need to hear about him.

And that makes perfect sense, I have no business whatsoever contacting this woman and stirring up trouble in their marriage.

The thing is, however…

First of all, last I spoke to this guy, he wasn’t even dating anyone, let alone married. I haven’t heard from him, I haven’t contacted him, I haven’t so much as THOUGHT of him in ages and ages and ages…how was I supposed to know he got married? And how should I even know WHO he married?

I don’t. That’s the fun part of this. Not a clue who his wife is.

And yet, for some reason (one that I’m particularly interested to find out, although I’m not going to push the issue), this guy is convinced that I was the one who wrote (did he mean online? a letter? a text message? Sure wish he’d clarify…) to his wife and passed along what apparently are deep, dark secrets about him.

I keep laughing as I think this all over, because it’s so…dumb. I replied to his accusations, calmly and truthfully, stating that not only did I not do whatever he thinks I did, I don’t even have the time to go causing problems for someone I couldn’t care less about at this point in time.

I have a husband and child and home to care for, plus at least half a dozen projects outside that desperately need my attention, plus a brand new diet/exercise adventure I’ve embarked on, cats to pester, upcoming mini-vacation to think about, naps to take…

Seriously.

Of course, this also brings up a couple questions in my mind…for instance, since I know that I didn’t write/say anything to this unknown woman, who did?

And who blamed it on me?

More importantly, what ever happened to my favorite pair of fuzzy striped socks?

 

I Regret Having to Resort to this…Again.

I really am sorry for this, because I think I said I wouldn’t do it again, but…

Remember a few days (or a week or something) ago when I begged you all to go and vote for my niece as the Cutest Kid in our little part of the world? Well, at that point, she had 13 votes, and she now has 51, which is better, but that leaves her behind by more than 320 votes.

And the contest ends, voting is over, in one and a half hours. 90 minutes.

So I came back to you guys, to beg one more time (the very last time I’ll do this to you, I promise) for you to click on the link and go vote for my niece. All you have to do is have a facebook (and who hasn’t got one, honestly?), click the link, allow the app for voting purposes, vote for Tessa, and then remove the app if you want (I’m removing it after this silly contest is over).

https://apps.facebook.com/offerpop/Contest.psp?c=110669&u=29190&a=254553244581393&p=111462522210067&v=Entry&id=342048&rest=1

You know you want to vote for her….!

Well, poop.

I have recently been told that several of the things I do/will do/have done regarding the care/raising of my son are “barbaric”. This not only hurt my feelings, as it came from somebody I once thought was a friend, but it’s also offensive and untrue.

What would be so wrong with simply disagreeing with my parenting choices? Why did it have to come down to me being barbaric?

I wasn’t the only person included in this insult- it turns out that any parent who does any of the following is “barbaric”:

-Having your son circumcised
-Formula feeding
-Spanking
-Letting your child ‘cry it out’

I guarantee there are more things on that list, but I didn’t stick around to hear them.

I’ve also been told that if I feel angry when confronted with ‘facts’ as to why these things are detrimental to children, then it must mean that I need to look inside myself and recognize that there’s some guilt there about what I’ve done/what I’m doing.

Excuse me, what?

I feel angry when confronted with the notion that I’m damaging my child. I imagine that the person suggesting this would feel angry too, were I to turn around and say that I think she’s turning her children into major targets for bullying. Though I suppose THAT kind of anger would absolutely NOT stem from guilt, but from righteousness?

I am also, apparently, sarcastic and passive-aggressive. Now that is true. I get upset, and I get ridiculous with my sarcasm. Someone hurts my feelings, and I go all stealthy-dangerous. Someone insults my intelligence, and tells me (not in so many words and rather subtly) that I’m a bad parent, I unfriend their ass and move on.

Obviously, I have not yet moved on, but I will.

I guess it sounds a little ‘teenager-y’ to be ‘unfriending’ people on facebook over a disagreement. Though, 99% of my friends list is made up of people I actually know in person, and like. Therefore, when something like this happens, when someone else takes me off their list or I make a decision to take someone off mine, it’s actually pretty sad for me. I won’t be seeing these people in the future, and I won’t be calling them up to talk, and now I won’t be keeping in touch online, either, and that stinks.

Behind the sarcasm and the passive-aggressiveness and the ‘barbaric’ parenting, I’m really pretty bummed that I’ve lost a friend over a difference of opinion. I could have handled it had this person not been so thoroughly insulting and condescending, had she presented her case in a less “I’m-smarter-and-better-educated” kind of way. But I guess that’s it right there- she couldn’t have done it any differently, because that’s who she is, and I couldn’t have sat there and taken it, because that’s NOT who I am.

It still stinks, though.

It’s a Tough Job…So Why Do I Have to Do It?

There have been times in my life that I have been accused of being “too nice”. Generally, this statement follows shortly after I’ve either told somebody about or someone has witnessed me being used as a doormat. You know how it goes, I’m sure; somebody does/says something awful to someone else, and that someone else just lets it happen. People who see this generally wonder what is wrong with the person being trampled on that they can’t even stand up for themselves.

Have you ever wondered what is wrong with the person doing the trampling that they can’t just be nice?

Sometimes, on good days usually, I stop and consider that point of view. It’s hard to do when I’ve just been treated like I don’t matter in the least, but even so, I can’t always steer my thoughts in a logical direction and be angry about it. I occasionally think to myself, “What has this person gone through in their life that’s made them so awful?”

Of course, on other occasions, I think, “What have I ever done to this person to make them so awful to me?”

On still other occasions, I think, “How nice it would be to run over that person with a tank.”

Twice, I became physically violent towards people who were being horrible; I punched a girl in the mouth for, as I phrased it at the time when my mother asked what had gotten into me, “talking smack and being an ass wipe” (I got in less trouble for fighting than I did for swearing).

The other time, I was at a school dance and one of my friends, a guy, was being harrassed by a couple of drunk jocks. In high-heels and a long, glittery dress, I pummeled them both and knocked them to the floor.

Why can’t people just be nice? Why have they got to say/do things to others who haven’t done anything to them?

In a way, I can understand it; when I feel miserable, it’s extremely difficult to make the choice to not spread the misery around.

And it is a choice, absolutely. People can stop themselves from being jerks. I have to work to stop myself from being a jerk frequently- it would be all too easy to say everything that’s on my mind whenever something or someone makes me angry.

But it never makes me feel better to hurt someone else just because they hurt me first (I did feel pretty good after knocking those two guys on their butts, but usually…). Difficult as it is, much as it makes people think I must be either not very bright or overly ‘soft’, it feels so much better, in so many ways, to take the higher ground and turn the other cheek.

Probably a part of that has to do with feeling like I’m a better person than whoever insulted/hurt me, I admit.

Regardless of my own feelings of superiority over meanie-heads, biting my tongue and walking away is still the right thing to do. Call me crazy, call me “too nice”, but it’s true.

And that kind of sucks, but hey, isn’t it the season to be jolly? And, you know, “too nice”?

You Don’t Know/Kaboom!

I am not a great debator. I avoid confrontation like the plague, because any time I find that I have a differing opinion than someone else, and that someone else starts firing questions at me about why I have the opinion or belief that I do, I freeze up and my mind goes utterly blank.

Because of this, I’ve had a pretty difficult time trying to explain to people the choices I’ve made regarding my son, or my faith. Not that I necessarily owe anybody an explanation on these matters, but it would feel really good to have the presence of mind just once to “defend” myself, using facts rather than sarcasm.

And that’s what I generally resort to, when a ‘discussion’ reaches the point at which I have been made to look like an idiot, because I have thus far only been able to stand by my opinions without backing them up with anything other than, “Because…I just do…”, or even better, “You don’t even KNOW!”

If some people would calm the eff down about life in general and realize that my life is not their business, maybe I wouldn’t ever feel this way.

Then again, probably I would at some point, because I’m also painfully shy and therefore even when I’m not in an argument, I struggle to find words.

Oh, but back to the arguing…

I completely understand that some people feel so strongly about certain things that they feel it is their duty to inform everybody else about why they are right, and why other people with a different opinion are wrong. I absolutely get that there are plenty of things in the world worth fighting for, and plenty of people who are willing to take a stand on those things. And I get that, particularly when it comes to people’s children (or even children in general), some people will fight to the death to protect them.

I would.

I would NOT, however and for instance, go up to someone who doesn’t believe what I believe and bash them over the head with a hammer.

Perhaps I would do that just because the mental image of it is actually kind of funny, but otherwise, certainly not.

If somebody disagrees with something that I strongly feel is right, I do my best to explain my thoughts to them (although most of the time, as I said, this doesn’t work out well), give them information about the subject if at all possible, and then…get this…

I leave them alone.

I don’t bombard them with the same information over and over and over, and I don’t guilt-trip them until they admit that I’m right. I leave the hammer-bashing out of it completely. Do I think I’m a better person than they are because of this?

Not at all, just less irritating…

I guess I’ve got to figure out a way to handle overbearing people. If I don’t want to debate them, if I don’t want to end up not only coming across as a fool, but being treated like one as well, I’m going to have to find some way to cope. The problem is, much as I get frustrated and sometimes down right angry at people for shoving their opinions down my throat, I don’t want to be rude to them in return. Even if they really deserve it. Because sometimes, these people are my friends or family, and I have no desire to push them away in the same manner that they are pushing me.

Of course, everybody has a breaking point, and I shudder to think what could happen whenever I reach mine.

Spontaneous human combustion, anyone?

U-G-L-Y! You Ain’t Got No Alibi!

I have this sort of vague feeling that I recently read something about ugly people, and though I can’t for the life of me remember if it was something in a book, or an article, or maybe just somebody’s facebook post, I’ve been thinking about ugliness.

What makes somebody ugly?

I’ve heard people say that someone with a disease or disfigurement is ‘ugly’. I don’t really think that’s true. The ‘ugly’ person may be hard to look at, sure, but because they aren’t beautiful? I don’t think that’s it. I suspect that it has more to do with others feeling pity towards the person, and therefore feeling awkward and uncomfortable being near them or speaking to them or even just looking at them, rather than that the person is ‘ugly’.

That’s something that I notice more and more as I get older; the way people tend to get upset when something makes them feel an emotion they’d rather not feel, particularly when that emotion makes them feel that they ought to be doing something to help others, and even more so when they realize that they simply can’t be bothered to help in any way. And so they resort to being rude, or being angry, and maybe later in their day they’ll call up a friend and tell them about how ‘ugly’ this person they saw was.

Does that make those people ugly?

I know that everybody has their own personal preference in regards to physical appearances, but does it mean that everyone we are not attracted to physically is ugly? Or are they just inconsequential, unimportant because their appearance is neither pleasing to us or offensive?

What about those times when you’re out, shopping perhaps, and you see somebody whose facial features are arranged in such a way as to make you do a double-take…in a bad way? Is your first response, “Wow, they’re ugly”?

Mine is. I don’t do it purposely, I don’t dare go up to them and tell them I thought that, but the fact of the matter is, I DID think it. Sometimes, I just see a person whose physical appearance is highly offensive to my senses…and I really can’t help it, not when it’s out of the blue like that.

Once or twice in my life when that’s happened, I ended up actually meeting that person at a later date, finding out their name, talking to them, discovering the person behind what I initially percieved as an ugly face. Learning that somebody I thought was extremely unattractive has a wonderful sense of humor, or that they are very thoughtful and generous, changes my perspective.

Granted, it may just be that I got used to seeing them, and therefore was ‘desensitized’…

What about the outwardly gorgeous people in the world who, on the inside, are hideous? You know what I mean, I’m sure- a pretty face and a bad attitude. Are they truly ‘ugly’ inside? Would we feel differently about them if we knew what caused them to be hateful and mean?

The New American Webster Handy College Dictionary defines ‘ugly’ in the following manner:

1, unpleasing or repulsive in appearance. 2, disagreeable; inclement; threatening.

When I look at it that way, maybe ‘ugly’ IS the appropriate word for a lot of things that I wouldn’t normally use it for.

Then again, maybe I’m better off looking for the beauty in the world and forgetting all this ‘ugly’ business.

Step Away From the Cell Phone!

Every where I go, I see people in the act of abusing technology. There’s always somebody who can’t seem to put their cell phone down and have a conversation with the people standing right next to them. Better yet, they could hang up the phone and observe a moment of silence, you know, just for the hell of it.

But they don’t. They can’t, you see, because they are either so popular that stopping the flow of conversation with 23 of their closest friends would be akin to chopping off a limb or cutting off their air supply, or they are juggling so many things at once that were they to miss a single text message, the entire world would probably just crumble around them.

…Really?

I don’t get it. The women who wander seemingly aimlessly through the grocery store, standing in everyone else’s way or bumping into people with their cart because A) they aren’t paying any attention to what’s happening in their immediate vicinity because B) they’ve got one hand on the cart and the other is holding a phone to their ear, so C) they’re off in their own little world and dont’ even realize that they are discussing personal matters quite loudly in front of complete strangers who, quite frankly, are fighting the urge to accidentally-on-purpose ram the woman with their own shopping cart.

Whew!

It’s obnoxious, to say the least.

And then there’s the chronic texters. They hardly ever use their phones for calling anyone, but they send and receive text messages nearly 24 hours a day. I go a little bit mental when I bump into someone I haven’t seen in a long time, and for about 30 seconds we have a lovely face-to-face conversation. But then their phone goes off, alerting them to a new text message, and the person doesn’t even say “Excuse me a second” or anything before they whip the phone out and start pressing buttons and ignoring you. And then when they appear to have a moment to spare, you might both agree to having lunch together or something the next day to catch up, only to find that all through the lunch, they say about ten words to you and the rest of the time they are keeping up with their “real” friends via text message.

And of course, every few texts or so, the person will laugh out loud at something you have no idea about, and then fail miserably to bother to let you in on the joke or apologize for being so rude.

By the end of the little get-together (which you are probably sincerely regretting at this point), the other person might say, “Well, it was good seeing you again.” To which the appropriate response would be, “Right, yeah…I had a good time trying to talk to you while you talked to everyone but me. We should do this more often, because it’s always a great time being ignored.” But you don’t say it, because you were taught better manners than that.

Cell phone addiction is a major problem. There really ought to be a 12-step program for this kind of thing.

I once attended a party where one of the women invited spent the entire time staring at her phone, either reading messages, sending messages, or waiting for messages; not once did she actually so much as look at, let alone speak to, the person the party was for. No hello, no shy smile, no nothing.

I was once invited to an old friend’s house, and she was on the phone when I arrived, and she stayed on the phone for the entire visit- right up until I got up to leave, at which point she muttered to the person she was really visiting with “I’ll call you right back, ok?” in order to say to me, “What, you’re leaving?”

What, that’s a surprise?

I used to have a cell phone. One day, after having received one too many pointless forwards, I killed it. Really killed it. It was a flip phone, and I snapped it in half backwards and proceeded to snip wires and gouge buttons until it was nothing more than mangled scraps of plastic and metal.

Maybe that was a bit of an over-reaction, but since then things have been calm and peaceful. I highly recommend a bit of cell phone destruction to anyone who can’t seem to put down the damn phone.

Headline: Who Cares?!

Every day when I check my e-mail, I can’t help but glance at the MSN Headlines. They’re just so…well, stupid, really. Things that hold no interest for me (or most people, I would hope). Things that aren’t really relevant to anything. Today’s Headlines?

MSN Headlines:
Bing: J.Lo gets cozy with her new man in Hawaii
How to avoid the mall until January
10 clues you’ll live to 100
Meet the world’s most eligible bachelors
More on MSN

Ok, so…I don’t know if I’m just behind on the times or what, but didn’t J.Lo stop being news like, five years ago? Is anyone actually still curious about what she’s up to, who she’s seen with? For that matter, does anyone ACTUALLY care who ANY celebrity is jumping in bed with? I guess there must be people out there who care, otherwise news like that wouldn’t keep being reported…though, in that case, I would strongly suggest that people get a life of their own.

And…how to avoid the mall til January…?! Is the mall now some sort of black hole that sucks people up whether they want to go or not? I didn’t click on the headline, but I can tell you how to avoid the mall til WHENEVER…just don’t go, yeah? If you feel compelled to shop at the mall, then you really can’t be wanting to AVOID the mall all that badly. If you want to avoid the mall, you will. Cripes.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m not going to start making assumptions about what age I’m likely to live to. The moment I decide that the “10 clues” apply to me in any way (which again, I didn’t read), will probably be the moment that I get hit by a train. And I don’t live near any train tracks. I’m just saying, if God decides that I get to live to be 100 years old, neat. If not, well…not neat, but I’m not going to tempt fate by making rash assumptions.

On a side note, I don’t think I would WANT to live to be 100. Wait, wait, wait! I don’t mean I’d like to die at a young age, I just don’t want to be a burden on my family, or worse, get shipped off to an old folk’s home to die in lonely misery. I think that if I really thought I was going to live to be 100, I might just start chain-smoking or something. I don’t know.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh, the world’s most eligible bachelors. Ha! That’s as silly as the J.Lo thing. Or maybe sillier, even, because I can just imagine how many women (single or otherwise) clicked that link to find out which famous men are available for dating. Not dating the women reading the article about it, mind you…which is what makes it so ridiculous. “Eligible” for who, precisely?

The internet is home to some pretty stupid crap…although, sometimes, I come across something fantastic, such as the picture I shall now leave you to contemplate.