It’s a Tough Job…So Why Do I Have to Do It?

There have been times in my life that I have been accused of being “too nice”. Generally, this statement follows shortly after I’ve either told somebody about or someone has witnessed me being used as a doormat. You know how it goes, I’m sure; somebody does/says something awful to someone else, and that someone else just lets it happen. People who see this generally wonder what is wrong with the person being trampled on that they can’t even stand up for themselves.

Have you ever wondered what is wrong with the person doing the trampling that they can’t just be nice?

Sometimes, on good days usually, I stop and consider that point of view. It’s hard to do when I’ve just been treated like I don’t matter in the least, but even so, I can’t always steer my thoughts in a logical direction and be angry about it. I occasionally think to myself, “What has this person gone through in their life that’s made them so awful?”

Of course, on other occasions, I think, “What have I ever done to this person to make them so awful to me?”

On still other occasions, I think, “How nice it would be to run over that person with a tank.”

Twice, I became physically violent towards people who were being horrible; I punched a girl in the mouth for, as I phrased it at the time when my mother asked what had gotten into me, “talking smack and being an ass wipe” (I got in less trouble for fighting than I did for swearing).

The other time, I was at a school dance and one of my friends, a guy, was being harrassed by a couple of drunk jocks. In high-heels and a long, glittery dress, I pummeled them both and knocked them to the floor.

Why can’t people just be nice? Why have they got to say/do things to others who haven’t done anything to them?

In a way, I can understand it; when I feel miserable, it’s extremely difficult to make the choice to not spread the misery around.

And it is a choice, absolutely. People can stop themselves from being jerks. I have to work to stop myself from being a jerk frequently- it would be all too easy to say everything that’s on my mind whenever something or someone makes me angry.

But it never makes me feel better to hurt someone else just because they hurt me first (I did feel pretty good after knocking those two guys on their butts, but usually…). Difficult as it is, much as it makes people think I must be either not very bright or overly ‘soft’, it feels so much better, in so many ways, to take the higher ground and turn the other cheek.

Probably a part of that has to do with feeling like I’m a better person than whoever insulted/hurt me, I admit.

Regardless of my own feelings of superiority over meanie-heads, biting my tongue and walking away is still the right thing to do. Call me crazy, call me “too nice”, but it’s true.

And that kind of sucks, but hey, isn’t it the season to be jolly? And, you know, “too nice”?

The Stupid(er), The Awesome(r)

At the risk of sounding like a grumpy old man (or worse, my mother), I absolutely cannot seem to wrap my mind around the way the world works today; there are so many horrifically idiotic things that people do now days in order to seem like they’re really “with it”…things that are now considered not just acceptable in society, but trendy, cool,or fashionable.

As a teenager, I occasionally tried to keep up with the latest trends, all the different fashions, but when morals and reason started to be compromised for the sake of being “cool” or “popular”, I usually ran for the hills (I say usually because I admit I did my fair share of idiotic things in my teen years- however, I refuse to own up to any idiocy as an adult). I’m happy to be able to say, at the ripe old age of 26, I at least never did anything to fit in or be “cool” that caused permanent damage.

Apparently, it makes you cool if you drive like a jerk. At least, if you’re a guy it does; if you’re a woman and you drive like an idiot, you’re just an idiot, but if a dude does it…instant awesome points with his buddies. And that makes perfect sense; if you can drive 100 miles an hour everywhere you go, cut off dozens of other drivers, run red lights and squeal your tires (all while the bass is booming loud enough for people to hear it in China), then you’ve EARNED the title of “Bad Ass”. And I say, “Well done!” People could learn a few things from you; for instance, how much a hospital bill comes to after you’ve been stitched back up, or what it costs to have the wreckage towed away after you’ve wrapped a pick-up truck around a tree.

If you’re a teenage girl, you are now considered “cool” if you manage to stay in school all through a pregnancy (or two…or three…). So don’t worry, little girls- go ahead and get knocked up in your sophomore year of high school, because as long as you still turn in your homework on time, nobody will think any less of you. Oh, and go ahead and continue to wear itty bitty tank tops while you’re at it, so you can show off your ‘baby belly’ like the accessory that it is…because the bigger the baby belly, the more ‘hip’ you look.

As for all the under-age drinkers out there, I think it would be really fantastic if you could keep up with posting the photos of you and your friends partying- make sure you get them onto facebook, that way the whole world can see just how awesome you are. Those group pictures where ten or twenty of your 16 year old friends are all holding half-finished beers? I love those. But even better than that are the photos of 15 year old girls with their eyes half closed, their clothes half off, striking a drunken pose for the camera, while in the back ground, a couple of guys are drooling over her. Those are my favorites, because they really set the standard on ‘coolness’ that I think we should all aspire to.

Reach for the stars, and all that.

People who strech your earlobes out big enough to fit a golf ball into the hole- you rock! And if I think you look pretty awesome like that while you’re in your twenties, I can just imagine how much cooler you’re going to look when you’re 60, and your ear lobes are so saggy that you have to tuck them into your shirt collar to keep them from swinging around and smacking you in the face on a windy day.

To those of you who run up huge credit card debts just so you can have the latest this, the fanciest that- truly, you are super cool. And you can prove it, because you are in possession of an enormous television and three different gaming systems and your clothes are the best name brands and you live in a huge house. And even though you have to be on food stamps in order to eat, and you can’t afford to go to the doctor if you get sick, that doesn’t lower your level of awesomeness, because hey, you’re surrounded by state-of-the-art everything.

I salute all of the parents out there who are less like PARENTS and more like over-grown teenagers, who do little about teaching their kids anything (especially discipline and values); but who cares about that, as long as your kids’ friends think you’re so much cooler than their own parents? I mean, let’s face it- the youth of today need less of that obnoxious parenting and more friends to shop with, hang out with, and get drunk with.

I honestly can’t figure out how these things work…how behaving like a moron not only DOESN’T get you banished to some remote island where you can’t hurt anyone but yourself, but it also earns you popularity points. The only conclusion I can draw from all this is that one of two things is happening- either I’m misunderstanding what it is that really makes a person ‘cool’, or they are.